Chaotic Memoirs (2)
Everything I googled while reading Earth to Moon by Moon Unit Zappa
The Zappas walked so the the Osbournes could run straight onto reality tv. We deserved the Zappas on our screens, though, after reading this chaotic memoir.
Prior to reading Moon’s memoir my knowledge of the Zappas were:
Supreme envy of Moon Unit and Dweezil names whenever they popped up on MTV in the 1980s, a channel I was forbidden to watch as a 9 yr old.
Major crush on Dweezil. Major.
Vague recollection of the Valley Girl song.
Like other recent memoirs that have seared deeply (Jenette McCurdy, Julia Fox), Moon Unit Zappa tells her story in present tense. You live along side her as she grapples how to love (or hate depending on the day) her largely absent superstar father (Frank Zappa). You grit your teeth through each scene with Gail Zappa, a mother who not only ignores her daughter but actively hates her. And you will try to hug Moon as you encounter with her, a circus of groupies and artists who regularly fill her family home. There are bright & funny trauma-bonding moments between Moon and her 3 siblings but the family dynamics of selfish, narcissistic parents will end up pitting the Zappa siblings against each other as well. As of now, I believe they are still not on great terms.
Imagine regularly hearing your father bang a groupie in one room while your mother is managing his career in another. Moon’s childhood is anything but normal, to only come out of that with anxiety, depression, ptsd and inferiority complex (my words not hers) is a blessing. This a home with no rules, no clothing and no boundaries.
In a chess play any child craving parent attention does, Moon suggests (via a note through the basement studio door) that she write a song with her dad based on the valley girl impressions she does that Frank likes. That song, Valley Girl, catapults young Moon into worldwide fame.
Video of Moon Unit Zappa on Letterman at 14, a natural, fast forward to 10:42 for the best part. Frank seems agitated but Moon alludes that he hated that people didn’t get the satire and was uncomfortable and introverted.
Leveraging this 15 minutes of fame, Moon goes on to chase a career as an actress; landing small roles, VJ spots on MTV and VH1. Does she become a crazy drug addict or alcohol dependent? No, just like her father, she shuns substances. She continues to struggle with family love and support, though, and a very jealous “mother.” For the record, Moon never refers to Gail as her mother in her memoir. At one point, Gail, comes up with a price of what it cost to raise Moon and makes Moon pay that back to her and it’s hundreds of thousands of dollars. For more infuriating, soul-destroying stories listen to Moon on Mark Maron’s podcast here and here .
In Moon’s quest for a partner chapters she is besties with Justine Bateman and Molly Ringwald. She dates Emilion Estevez, and shows up on the red carpet with Tom Cruise. Moon briefly dates Woody Harrelson, perhaps one of the most bizarre stories in which at one point he grabs her finger to get food out of his teeth.
Moon Unit tries her hand at many artistic careers, including writing. In a Roman a clef move, she writes a novel that very much mirrors her upbringing. From Publisher’s Weekly “The novel concerns one America Throne, the opinionated daughter of famous avant-garde artist Boris Throne: she's funny, she's familiar with self-pity, she's looking for love and she's dealing with "how difficult it is to be hippie royalty AND try to find your own identity in the shadow of a certifiable self-made `genius.' " I already scoured the web of rabbit holes and am eagerly awaiting for my pre-loved paperback.
Moon’s memoir continues on her journey of finding love (she was married to a Matchbox 20 band member) and losing it, maybe a cult, having a child (talk about opposite parenting) and dealing with the death of both her parents. Oh and loads of therapy. In a final FU, upon her death, Gail Zappa changes the 4 way inheritance split to give less to Dweezil and Moon, presumably because of the closer relationship they had with Frank. She also leaves them out of profiting off of the Zappa name and making family decisions around Frank’s legacy. The younger two siblings, Diva and Ahmet don’t care to change this decision leaving to court cases and rifts.
To the Zappa family:
As difficult as it was at times to read Moon’s words about Frank, I also felt so much love and respect for Frank Zappa from Moon. As someone who had never listened to him, I have now listened to several albums and also seeked out his own memoir. Moon is a positive force for the Zappa family legacy and a talented artist in her own right.
Bonus Google, Moon Zappa on Howard Stern, she discusses this interview in her book, how uncomfortable she was, how it was basically to placate the public that Frank was ok. Side note: Does Howard not remind you of Bethenny Frankel in the first few minutes? They have the same delivery.
Skip to 6:35 and watch for the next uncomfortable minute.
TL;DR: Read Moon Unit Zappa’s memoir because it’s full of nudity, neglectful parenting stories, evil mothers, fame and fame adjacent stories, celebrity name drops, coming of age and finding love and yourself.
Fair disclosure: I was gifted this memoir from the publisher, Dey St Books. I buy and am gifted many books but only post the ones I love here. Goodreads has all my bad reviews, if you want to know which books I hate.
Loved reading this! I know so little about the Zappas, but the book sounds fascinating. A lot of her upbringing sounds pretty disturbing and as though it’d be a hard read, but then I watched that Howard Stern clip (jeez though!) and she seems very together. I’ll have a listen to the podcast too - thanks for the rec.
How difficult to have such a fraught parental relationship. Great review Jodie, Substack suits you!