New Book Release Spotlight (1)

Men Have Called Her Crazy

4 tissue boxes is my rating.

Men Have Called Her Crazy is Anna Marie Tendler’s long awaited memoir. Many of my female friends and I (and a lot of the internet) have been waiting for a dishy tell-all. We wanted the full story after claiming Anna in her messy public break up. We all followed along on her viral social media and tabloid journey of heartbreak seemingly caused by the betrayal by her famous ex. Following Tendler exposed us to quiet resilience and healing through art and a nod to the women we all want to be when the road is low. Also Anna, she’s just like us, healing through dog kisses and housewives binges. This memoir is not that but entirely something else that is beautiful, poignant and reflective. It’s also an important book on mental illness.

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A post shared by @annamtendler

Instagram Post Caption: “I had a lover, I don’t think I’d risk another these days.”

Anna’s memoir is reflective of her stay at an in-patient facility while attempting to diagnose her current mental state and simultaneously stabilize her current crisis situation. TW: Anna has attempted suicide and self-harms. She also really, really hates men through much of this memoir. The telling of her in-patient experience is intertwined with flashbacks of various relationships with men (professional and personal) especially those who have indicated or led her on to think she is ‘crazy.’

Spoiler Alert: Tendler does not discuss the breakdown of her marriage to John Mulaney but that’s not to say it isn’t everywhere, hanging out like a ghost in this memoir. The relationship is a huge reason she is in an in-patient facility to begin with. I would have loved to hear more about Anna’s thoughts and reflection on this part of her life but I think that;

1) That story could stand alone as it’s own memoir.

2) She already expressed so much of her reflection on this through her art.

3) She quite likely could have an NDA.

4) Once you understand the men Anna gravitates towards, you will have a strong idea of what her relationship with John was likely to be.

It is hard to not judge Anna’s choices in this book but also easy to judge because we are outsiders reading about them (and human nature). It’s not a perfect memoir, it lacks some self-perspective. Her focus keeps circling back to hating men while completely missing the many important women in her life who essentially have also led her to feel invalidated or ‘crazy’ Except, as I write this, I believe it’s intentional. In sharing her stories and her experience she is writing them as they happened and the emotions she felt at the time leaving us (the reader) to make many of our own judgements. Tendler doesn’t take ownership while recanting because she didn’t take ownership at the time it occurred.

Towards the end of her journey in this memoir, Anna is still massively healing, she begins to reflect and take ownership for past decisions. She slowly starts to accept that there are men she loves, men who have helped and taught her but also sees more clearly those men that did truly gaslight her and made her feel invalidated. I am more than interested in continuing on this journey with her in any form. Anna Marie Tendler has a spectacular future ahead of her and is an incredible writer in addition to her many forms of art. Her experiences with men are valid and something most women have felt, the difference being we are not all mentally ill.

I was so honored to have received an ARC copy of this book but was going to read it anyway and buying a hardcover for my beloved memoir shelf. My sons will read this in a few years.